Wednesday 11/28/18

Wednesday.  We arrived for Tevins infusion.  He had the port accessed, blood drawn and vitals taken.  Like he usually does every Wednesday.
Tevin has lost weight.  He is now only 114lbs for his 5’11” frame.  

Tevin has been struggling with his bowels, going to the restroom several times a day.  This really affected Tevins already frail frame.

We waited to see Dr. Dubois.  Dr. Shin Tevin’s Palliative care doctor also showed up.  

Tevin mentioned his pain on the lower left quadrant and also pain in the rectal area.  He didn’t bring this up from previous exam visits w/Dr. Dubois.  He said the pain on the Lower left quadrant has been ongoing for 2 weeks.  The frequent visit to the bathroom since the major surgery 3-4 months ago.

Dr. Shin walked in during our discussion with bowels.

Tevin seemed tired.  I sat across from Tevin while he is sitting on the patient bed/chair.  Dr. Dubois mentioned to Tevin about places he wants to go to visit.  He mentioned one of his patient went back to Jamaica.  Dr. Dubois seemed like he is creaking the door open.  

Dr. Dubois kept bringing back to the picture of the quality of life versus quantity of life.  At some point the chemo meds become toxic to the human body and quality of life depreciates.

I couldn’t help but started tearing up, realizing new pain meant new growth, that dawned on me right then and there and I couldn’t help it but started tearing up.  My dear husband.  

With Dr. Dubois opening up the door on the topic, Tevin went ahead and expressed  his decision to stop chemo if there are new growth, indicating that the cancer has metastasized.  Dr. Dubois recommend new CT scans as soon as possible.  If the scan shows new growth, that will be a deciding factor for Tevin.  

Here I am just crying and tears just kept falling, this time the feeling of losing Tevin is more real than ever before.  Dr. Shin went and grab the tissue box for me, knowing I would need it.

If Tevin decides to go for quality of life, Dr. Shin and Dr. Dubois gave Tevin some peace of mind that they will make sure the process is as comfortable as possible. 

Dr. Dubois and Dr. Shin said they have heavier pain meds in their arsenal that can handle the pain if the current medication is not effective enough, that they can increase his dosage for Dilaudid and Fentanyl.  

After the appointment we went to schedule our appointment with Francisco for a CT scan.  The earliest appt. was the next day Thursday around 1pm.  We went ahead to book for infusion and an appointment with Dr. Dubois next week if there is no new growth on the CT scan.  We went home pretty somber that day.