Christmas Eve 2018

The pain was too intense.  Tevin is already on 30 mg of Morphine with every 15 minutes of 30mg bolus to help with his pain.  The tumor, cancer has grown in his midsection of the abdomen.  It’s grown inward and pushing against his internal organs.  We originally wanted to enter into the hospice house the day after Christmas but with the rate his pain is going, he couldn’t handle it.  

Tevin also has frequent bowel movements, every 30 minutes to an hour.  I’ve recently have been helping him in the bathroom to clean his bottom and change his diaper.  The times that he does it by himself he wants to faint.  

I know his condition has worsened.

We called our Hospice Nurse Mary to let her know Tevin wanted to be admitted today.  
We packed up and at the same time, the extra cartridge of Morphine came before 5 pm.  We headed out to the Hospice in Lincoln MA.  

By the time we arrived he started hyperventilating, they had to wheelchair him into his bed that has been waiting for him since last Wednesday, which was supposed to be the time he should’ve been admitted to the house.  

Tevin still in excruciating pain of 10 out of 10.  The nurses were kind and helpful.  They gave him Ativan and Haldol to calm him down.  They put in an order of Methadone and Ketamine to start tomorrow morning.

Mary our hospice nurse said that once he starts Ketamine he will be in a sedative state, going in and out of sleep.  

I gave Tevin his bolus, his pain subsided with the 60mg of IV Morphine.  He is stable for now and in deep sleep.  

Christmas Eve was spent with my loving husband and family.  It is a gift that the hospice house was open to taking in my husband.  I wouldn’t know what to do in times like this, now I know the true sense of the meaning of Love, of the vows I’ve taken at the alter.  How much more loved he feels to have the family here with him.